Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
