ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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