Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
