Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
