oh god the rape fog is back!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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