You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
