That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
