i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can you bring me the toilet please
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
