Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
