Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
