Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
