Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
