Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize