haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
