We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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