I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize