My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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