the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
