I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
