So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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