i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
