All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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