I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize