so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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