Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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