so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
