Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
