Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize