If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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