Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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