i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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