Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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