Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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