At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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