k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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