Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
