is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
