I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
