It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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