people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
