Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm sobbing to NWA
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
