dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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