i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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