FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
