he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
