32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
