people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
