you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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