actually, I'm a sock model
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
