She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
