if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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