Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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