She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
