I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
