I saw his package. It spoke to me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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