When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
