I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
