It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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