Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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