we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
