Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
