I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize