I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize