Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
