I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
