Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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