Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize