I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
