Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
did you just send me my own nude
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
