Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
